Everyone Hates Me And I Just Want My Baby Back

I had a medical abortion at 8 wks 5 days, on May 8th 2012. Three weeks today (well, yesterday)
I want other women to know, it is by no means an easy way out. The anguish and regret i feel now is unbearable, it's like having your heart broken, only worse.

After taking the oral pill i was violently sick and had to go back to the hospital and have an anti sickness injection and another pill, by this time i could not take it back..

The next day i passed a big clot and had heavy bleeding. I was not prepared for how upsetting and frightening that was.The following day i went back to the clinic to have the pills inserted. Very uncomfortable. Shortly after i had very severe pain, which came and went, fever- i was in agony, despite the painkillers, i decided to go to the toilet. I managed to go for a poo and as i was pushing a large, very hard mass about 3-4 inches long and a couple of inches wide, it was hard to see it as it was covered in blood, after that the pain had gone.

I wonder if it was the embryo i passed and the pain was contractions, as someone has suggested.
Following that i have had headaches, heavy bleeding, severe cramps, leg pains and extreme mood swings. After 3 weeks i have only just stopped bleeding, but have been taking anti-biotics as i got an infection. I had not expected that from a medical abortion.. It has been very scary and emotional.

The babys father and i were not together and he manipulated me into having the abortion. I was very confused, weak and felt sick and weepy constanlty, my head was not in any place to make a life changing decision. He promised me to help me sort out my life, to help with anything, as i was already going through a hard time. He hasn't stuck by his word and now hardly speaks to me and is seeing other women, from the day after apparently..

My younger brother wanted me to keep it and hasn't spoken a word to me since, he said if i went thru the abortion him and his wife wouldn't be there to support me and don't go crying to him if i can't have kids in the future :'(

My family at home aren't supportive. I can't talk to anyone in my house and i feel like i'm going mental. I already have mental health problems- depression and anxiety, which was a part in my decision. It has got so much worse with all of this :(

I have lost everything- he will not be in my life, he's got his way and he's off, i have no money or job, i live with my parents, my brother and sis in law hate me- so now i will never see my little neice and nephew and have no real friends or any one to talk to..my best friend had her baby on the day i had my abortion, i saw the baby today and i just burst into tears and when i held her... i can't describe how it hurt..a little boy near us came over and asked me where my baby was... i just burst into tears :'(

So now i have to get on with my life somehow. But how do you move on from this?!
But i feel like ending it sometimes... So depressed :(
Be nice to talk to someone who's been in a similar situation :)